A Defining Moment…
This morning I was asked to think about and reflect on a defining moment in my life. I can think of many defining moments, or at least moments that should have been defining, but weren’t.
I reflected on…
My decision to stay in Mexico City to begin my career in the hospitality industry after what should have been a summer internship in advertising.
Meeting the man who would become my husband in Acapulco and deciding to move to Denver 6 months later so I could be with him, marry him, and start a family.
Being let go from a job that I loved and starting my own company, only to be hired 8 months later by my #1 client.
The time I quit my job to get my real estate license so I could support my husband in his real estate development company right before everything crashed in 2008.
Separating from my husband in 2009 then divorcing him a year later.
Going back to work in hospitality in 2011 then deciding to quit in 2013. At the time I felt I had disappointed my family and co-workers, but most of all I felt I had disappointed myself.
The truth was I had disappointed myself for not listening to my truth for so many years. I was an accidental tourist on somebody else’s journey, and because of it I wasn’t sleeping at night, and when I did I was grinding my teeth and waking up to debilitating headaches. Every joint in my body hurt. There were days I’d end up on the floor in the conference room at work curled up in a ball because my stomach was in so much pain. My muscles would spasm and throw out my back on a regular basis. This level of stress went on for almost 20 years…
I say these should have been defining moments because I believe there was something to see in them that I wasn’t seeing at the time. Something that would have changed the trajectory of my life if I had paid attention to the signs. It goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway. I do not regret any of it… after all, I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had made different choices then. But perhaps I could have shown up for them differently…more intentionally, more joyfully.
The defining moment that changed everything for me was the moment that led up to quitting my job in 2013. It was a heart-felt hug and question, “How’s life treating you Dayna?” That day was a Saturday, and I cried that entire day because of the truth that was in the answer to that question. On Sunday I made the decision, and on Monday I quit my job. In that moment of authentic curiosity, somebody saw ME and because of it I was able to see myself. I knew in that moment that something had to change.
I’d been wearing a mask, letting the world influence how I lived my life. I had no idea who I was, what I valued, why I was on this planet, or where I wanted to be in 3 years. I realized that when you’re able to see your own truth and live a life that’s in alignment with that truth, you have the power to create anything you want; for yourself AND the people that count on you, whether it’s your significant other, children, business partner, or team at work. When you’re able to look to your heart’s compass for guidance you become powerful! I had lost my power as a leader over the years.
Self-leadership is the foundation for extraordinary leadership of others and your organization. And after several years of starting and stopping new endeavors, I founded Heart Compass. I help leaders discover their truth so they can be extraordinary leaders of others and their organizations.
I’m proud to share my story (failures and all!) and would love to hear yours. Email me at dayna@heartcompass.net.